it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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