Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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