yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize