We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
