I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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