I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
