Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
