I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
