did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
