things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
