drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
