I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
