his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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