dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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