If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
