How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
