I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
