Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
