This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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