my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
