Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
