im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
