there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
