I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize