Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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