Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
