You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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