my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She bit a glass in half.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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