oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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