R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
