Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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