I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
