and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
