a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
