i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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