whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
