And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
