I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize