i permit you to call me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
