I think I died a long time ago.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
