Are we in a gay sports bar?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
