Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
