In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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