you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
