he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
