Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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