I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
