remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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