Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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