Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
