Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
