ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
