I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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