im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Mom said you looked used
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
