He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
