operation have a gay friend backfired
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
