How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
