New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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