I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
