So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
