Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
