I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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