I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
