I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
