I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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