wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
