Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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