I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize