Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
