Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
