I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
