I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
