Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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