You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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