i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
