But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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