ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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