oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
farters have to be the big spoon...
where does the pee come out of this thing
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
