we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
