he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
