Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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