On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
